Ask a colleague or mentor for feedback
Request honest feedback on one area of your work and listen without defending — it's the fastest way to grow.
- Time:
- 45 min
- Cost:
- free
- Difficulty:
- challenging
- Where:
- Indoors
- Best:
- With others
"Any feedback for me?" reliably produces "you're doing great." Not because people are dishonest, but because the question is too broad to answer and mildly socially risky. When you ask for feedback well, you make it narrow, specific, and easy to say something uncomfortable. That reframing is most of the work, and it takes an hour to set up.
Why ask a colleague or mentor for feedback is worth an hour
Broad questions force the other person to choose what to critique, which is exactly the part that feels rude. A narrow question about one recent event removes that burden entirely: they are answering a factual question rather than volunteering a judgement about you. The specificity also produces something actionable instead of a general impression.
How to ask a colleague or mentor for feedback step by step
- 1
Choose one recent, specific thing
A presentation, a document, how you handled a disagreement last week. Recent and bounded, so the memory is accurate.
- 2
Ask for feedback on that one thing
"What would have made Tuesday's proposal more convincing?" invites a concrete response. "How am I doing?" invites reassurance.
- 3
Pick someone who saw it
Direct observers give better feedback than senior people who heard about it. Choose proximity over seniority.
- 4
Give them warning
Ask in advance rather than ambushing them. Thoughtful feedback needs a few minutes of preparation to be any good.
- 5
Say thank you and nothing else
Do not explain or defend, even mildly. Any pushback teaches them that honesty is expensive and you will not hear it twice.
Tips to get more out of it
- Ask what you should do more of as well as less of. People find the positive version easier to answer honestly and specifically.
- Wait a day before deciding what to do with it. First reactions to criticism are unreliable in both directions.
- Close the loop later. Telling someone what you changed makes them dramatically more willing to be candid next time.
Ways to mix it up
If you want a broader picture, ask the same narrow question of four people and look for what repeats; one person's view is an opinion, three overlapping views is a pattern. If you are the more senior person, reverse it and ask what you do that makes their job harder.
Ask a colleague or mentor for feedback: frequently asked questions
Who should I ask for feedback?
Someone who directly observed the thing you are asking about. Proximity produces more useful detail than seniority does.
What if the feedback feels unfair?
Thank them anyway and sit with it for a day. Even inaccurate feedback tells you accurately how you are being perceived.
How often should I ask?
Little and often beats an annual review. A narrow question every few weeks costs almost nothing and compounds.
Related activities
Skills
Practice active listening techniques
Active listening practice means giving someone room to speak, checking what you understood and asking a useful follow-up question.
Career Development
Create a professional development plan
Map out the skills, certifications, and experience you want to gain over the next year, and the steps to get there.
Personal Growth
Do a weekly review of wins and lessons
Look back over the week: what went well, what didn't, and what one thing you'll change next week.