Find Your Top Five Personal Values: A Simple Exercise
Your top five personal values are priorities you want to use when making decisions.
- Time:
- 45 min
- Cost:
- free
- Difficulty:
- moderate
- Where:
- Indoors
- Best:
- Solo
Your top five personal values are priorities you want to use when making decisions. There is no correct universal list. Start with experiences that felt meaningful, choose words that describe why they mattered and turn those words into practical examples of how you want to behave.
Turn a values list into useful decisions
Write down ten possibilities, such as kindness, independence, curiosity, fairness, security, creativity, family, courage, learning and reliability. Choose five, then define each in your own words. “Reliability” might mean telling someone early if you cannot meet a commitment, rather than always agreeing to help.
Test the list against a decision you face. If independence and security conflict, write what each option gives you and what you would sacrifice. Rank values only for that decision if a permanent order feels misleading. Revisit your examples later; values can stay meaningful while the way you express them changes.
Why write down your top five personal values is worth an hour
Values become useful only as a decision-making shortcut, and that requires them to be genuinely yours rather than admirable. The test of a real value is that it has cost you something: money declined, a relationship strained, an easier path not taken. Values that have never cost anything are usually preferences.
How to write down your top five personal values step by step
- 1
Start from a long list
Find any values list and mark everything that resonates. Twenty or thirty at this stage is fine.
- 2
Cut to ten, then to five
The cutting is the exercise. Choosing between two things you value is where the actual ranking appears.
- 3
Test each against a real decision
When did this cost you something? A value that never cost anything is probably an aspiration.
- 4
Find where your calendar disagrees
Compare the list against how you spend time and money. Gaps are informative rather than shameful.
- 5
Write one sentence on what each means to you
Freedom means different things to different people. The word alone carries no usable content.
Tips to get more out of it
- Do it alone before discussing it. Values named in a group drift toward whatever sounds acceptable to that particular group.
- Revisit after major life changes. Values shift genuinely, particularly around new responsibilities.
- Use them for hard decisions, not easy ones. Their whole purpose is choosing when both options are defensible.
Ways to mix it up
If five feels arbitrary, three is better still, since a shorter list is more decisive when two values conflict. If you are facing a specific decision now, work backwards from it: which values are actually in tension here, and which wins?
For more ideas, browse personal growth activities.
Another activity to try is develop your personal brand statement.
Write down your top five personal values: frequently asked questions
What are examples of personal values?
Examples include fairness, curiosity, kindness, independence and reliability. Choose words that describe your own priorities and write a behaviour for each, rather than adopting a list simply because it sounds admirable.
How do I know if a value is really mine?
Ask when it last cost you something. Genuine values show up in decisions where holding them was inconvenient.
How many values should I list?
Three to five. Longer lists cannot resolve conflicts, which is the main thing values are useful for.
What if my behavior does not match my values?
That gap is normal and worth examining rather than hiding. It usually indicates either an aspiration or a constraint worth naming.
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